another birthday

So my most recent birthday was, I guess, a milestone of sorts.  My mother retired at 62 and if my memory is correct, I believe my father worked another year or so after he turned 62.  My husband began receiving social security benefits at age 62, but continued to work part time.  He wound up making too much money and had his benefits reduced for awhile but we came out ahead in the long run.  I just turned 62 this week and I am not able to do either of those things.

When I was young amd idealistic I believed that materialism was not a good thing.  A lot of stuff wasn't really necessary.  A roof over your head, reliable transportation and a healthy portion of freedom was important and could be achieved without working the kind of job that paid big money.  I truly was unwilling to give up more than 40 hour of my week to earning my living.  By the time I was graduated from college I knew I couldn't do the job I had learned to do. But I was sure I could do something.  And I did.  I did several things over the years,  enjoyed my feedom, paid the bills and kept a roof over my head, but didn't make a lot of money.  And what I did earn  I spent.  Just call me grasshopper.  And then when I married--I married another grasshopper.


So I can not retire on what my social security benefits would be at this time--particularly since I would have to pay for my own health insurance.  If I were to work part time I would need to work at least 24 hours per week or my company would drop  my health insurance.  The ecomomy is bad and nobody wants to give their employees benefits anymore--too expensive--and lots of unemployed people to choose from.  I understand all of that and accept it.  But I'm old and tired and deep in my soul believe that I will probably need to work at some kind of job until I die.

But that's ok.  My work is just work.  I doesn't define me or make me feel more or less important.  it takes only 40 hours out of a week-sometimes less-and it's purpose is just to pay the bills.